Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
soo... how was my night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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