Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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