I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I love you.
Bad choice
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
