why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
