I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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