idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
