Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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