in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
