The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The air was thick with penises
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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