i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
