If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
