I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize