Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
