Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
