you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
