yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
