oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
As shirtless as possible
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
