Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
