grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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