My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
