You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
