just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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