So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
