i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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