I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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