It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
