so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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