i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
