so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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