At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
