Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
