you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
