You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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