There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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