It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
