Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
