every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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