i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
