we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
