Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
