check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I intend to get homeless drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
