This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There r osticjed everywhere
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
