you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
