is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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