He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
