Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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