right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
God, I missed his penis.
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