Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
