Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
