We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
