I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
