dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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