do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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