Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
