I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
