Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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