So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize