do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
